by Gary Larson
The other day during my singing lesson, I was trying to hit some high notes in a song, when my vocal coach and dear friend Randy Esen, interrupted saying “try to relax your throat and not force, instead of pushing and trying to control, try relaxing and letting the notes flow out” and when I did that, the notes and the song almost effortlessly came out.
Just like this in life, we find ourselves trying to control and force some things or people to change or happen by trying to force, correct, make “right”. This way our minds think we can “help” them or “save” them from what “we” feel is supposedly “not good for them” or “wrong”.
Which in most cases is not helpful, does not result in the way “we” would like it to be, and on top of all of that separates if not alienates us from the person or the situation we are trying to control. The person ends up feeling not enough, broken, wrong etc. and we end up feeling frustrated, stressed and tight.
What if we didn’t need to control, what if we could loosen our grip a little and surrender to the moment by allowing it to just be?
Parker Palmer says “The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed — to be seen, heard and companioned exactly as it is. When we make that kind of deep bow to the soul of a suffering person, our respect reinforces the soul’s healing resources, the only resources that can help the sufferer make it through.”
This is true not only for holding this space for another, but even more importantly and urgently holding this witnessing and allowing space for our selves.
What if we could loosen the grip, for one moment for each moment and let ourselves be, not trying to hold on but open our hands and fingers so life can easily flow through washing, cleansing, healing and rejuvenating us in the meantime?
I leave you with this beautiful poem by Hafiz, cheers to surrendering and tripping over joy!
What is the difference
Between your experience of Existence
And that of a saint?
The saint knows
That the spiritual path
Is a sublime chess game with God
And that the Beloved
Has just made such a Fantastic Move
That the saint is now continually
Tripping over Joy
And bursting out in Laughter
And saying, “I Surrender!”
Whereas, my dear,
I am afraid you still think
You have a thousand serious moves.
– Hafiz “Tripping over Joy”